Public Porkers News Alert- sad humour

Public Porkers

our mission statement

“Always enjoy the feast at customers expense”

How to stop the Government spending crisis


How not to save public money- being the politically farsighted and specially “gifted” person that you have become

Learn how to spend it even more unwisely by:

Promising what you can not deliver

Give yourself and your staff more money-a minimum of 25% or more should do

Pretend to give services that don’t exist-afterall a public sucker is born every minute

Pretend to be service oriented and friendly by having impersonal phone answering systems in place to minimize customer contact and increase annoyance levels so they don’t call back

Confuse and scare customers and everyone with irrelevant ,high sounding Jargon

Hire more people to insulate yourself from the customers or people you are serving

Hire more friendly outside consultants to propagate and expand your government legacy

Use proven concepts that work in industry and subvert them to a lower government standard

Buy out all competition using your political and public money strengths

Fine or Jail anything that competes with you if they don’t run away , pay homage or conform to your wishes

Stifle any opposition by starving them to death with talk or by wasting their resources

Pretend to care about what people really want and need